


When I'm Gone

by mariehamlett



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, lawlight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:56:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27464548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariehamlett/pseuds/mariehamlett
Summary: L talks to Light one on one about what comes after when L is gone.
Kudos: 7





	When I'm Gone

Light cracked his neck and rubbed his eyes, trying to give himself a break from the blue light of the computer screen that was in front of him. He along with the others from the task force had been working since 8 AM and it was currently 4 PM. Light glanced at Matsuda, who had just spilt coffee all over himself and his white shirt (Watari went to go get him another). Just as Light was sure he would die of boredom, he heard the spinning of a chair behind him and Ryuzaki spoke up.  
"Light, come with me," he said, already standing up and walking out the door, leaving Light little time to question what was happening. The others, save for Aizawa, turned to look at Light as he left, trailing behind L.  
"Where are we headed?" Light asked, curious as they walked into the garage and L unlocked one of the fancy cars that belonged to the Kira task force investigators. L did not answer and he didn't put on a seat belt before zipping out of the headquarters and down the highway. Light decided that it was probably best if he put on his seat belt. L might not be submissive to traffic lights or common safety laws, but Light was. They drove in silence for ten to fifteen minutes before they pulled up at a gravesite, which made Light nervous. Where was L going with this?  
Pulling into a free parking space, the two of them began to walk into the graveyard and down a worn path that at one time was filled with mourners. Light thought about saying his name, talking, anything to break the silence, but kept his mouth shut. Even for once, Ryuk flew silently behind him, unsure of what to expect either. The two of them stopped at an empty spot, a place where a grave had not yet been filled and a gravestone had not yet been placed. L put his hands in his pockets.  
"When I'm dead, will you make sure I'm buried here?" L said in his monotone voice. This caught Light off guard and he stepped back a bit.  
"When you're... Ryuzaki, I won't let that happen. Besides, shouldn't you trust Watari with that task? Not your greatest suspect?" Light couldn't help but sound defensive. He could have sworn he saw L smile.  
"Whether you or I like it or not, you're my closest friend. We have known each other for years now. You've been inside my mind and I've been inside yours. Besides, stating the obvious, we were handcuffed to each other for a while," L said casually, a hint of humor in his voice. Light willed himself not to get red in the face. He turned away from L and back towards the grave.  
"Why are you saying this?" There was a pause.  
"I'm going to die. That's inevitable. And there is a 96, no, 97% chance that it will be by the hands of Kira. I haven't quite calculated the percentage of how soon that will be, but I imagine it will be in the very near future. I just want to make sure my body is secure after my death. Wouldn't want some angry Kira supporters tearing my limbs off post-mortem." There was no humor behind that phrase. He was serious. Light nodded. Of course he would make sure; true, he was the god of his new world, but L had the greatest mind he had ever met. Light knew that soon, Rem would write his name and Light would win. It was the least he could do for his rival.  
"Thank you," L said, turning away and began to walk down the path some more with Light by his side. "Can I tell you something?" L asked suddenly, looking Light directly in his eyes, making him a bit uncomfortable.  
"Of course." L continued to stare him down, searching for an unspoken answer. He must have found it, because he continued his walk.  
"I need to tell you something. Not specifically you, but somebody. Watari wouldn't understand and the other investigators are just enough incompetent for me to even consider telling them," L seemed to figit with his hands, for once acting as if he himself was uncomfortable, but Light listened on with intent. Thinking that maybe with L being vulnerable like this, he could somehow use it to his advantage later on, but something inside him, he wouldn't be able to tell you what to this day, tugged at him, and told him to just listen to what the man had to say. Nothing more. No using it to his advantage, no using it to belittle L in the future, just... listen.  
"I have restless dreams and most of the time it's cold," he started off. "Sometimes it's even raining. I walk towards a street lamp and I look out across the street and I see somebody standing there and I'll even call out to them, but they never answer. As I walk towards them, they just seem to be further away. No matter how hard I run, they are always just standing there, waiting for me to catch up."  
"That sounds exhuasting," Light admitted, not even meaning to say it.  
"The dream shifts and I'm standing near the back of a stage. Tens of thousands of people stand and cheer before me, but it's never to me. There's always someone else on stage, someone in front of me. The crowds are always shouting for Kira but they slowly turn into screams of "Kill him. Kill Ryuzaki," L looked down at the ground. Light couldn't imagine. This man hardly ever slept and when he did, his dreams were plagued with nightmares.  
"I always run up to the front of the stage and take the mic away from Kira. i say things like, 'Do you even hear what you're saying? Do you know who you're worshiping?' but they never listen. They are fools, Light. All of them. I know you and I will never see eye to eye," L looked up at Light and he felt his stomach clench. "But how can you feel good about yourself when the people that follow you are mindless zombies with twisted senses of justice, or even worse, no sense of justice for themselves. Kira's fans are either corpses with no thoughts or philosophy and metaethics savages who have dived too far into the topic and drowned. Light didn't know what to say, so he clenched his jaw, not wanting to say anything that would make him look suspicious. He figured that this was a time for L to rant and get things off his chest in an unprofessional manner that he previously hadn't been able to do before, so he stayed quiet. It seemed, though, that L was finished.  
"I can't ask for a painless death, Light. All I ask is that you be there when it happens," L refused to look at Light now.  
"... of course."  
The two of them headed back to the car as storm clouds gathered overhead. Light watched his reflection in the glass and was confused as to who he saw. Was he Kira at the moment? Was he Light Yagami? Or maybe, in this moment, he was just a friend. Not in the traditional sense, but Light had heard of a phrase called trauma bonding, and although it wasn't a textbook example, he and L's relationship in the past few years has been intense. The two of them have been hunting each other down and ultimately, trying to kill one another, but at the end of the day they had gone through many of the same experiences as each other and through that: bonded.  
Light looked over at L and saw his counterpart's face relaxed and almost tired looking, as they drove back home in the rain.


End file.
